Lesbians on TV: Transphobia on The L Word

This is another one of those cases where the first couple seasons of the show did an alright job of doing the story lines of diverse characters justice, and then it all went to shit.

Ivan is a recurring character in season 2. He is portrayed as a drag king at first, performing with a drag king group, but also presenting as a man full time. My understanding of the character is that he is either trans or genderqueer.

Ivan and Kit find themselves attracted to each other, even though Kit is "straight" and, according to other characters, Ivan is a lesbian. This doesn't stop the two of them until Kit goes over to Ivan's apartment earlier than expected and see's Ivan's strap-on and then his naked, female, body. Ivan is so distraught and infuriated by this experience that he flees the city. I think, in this instance, the writers of The L Word did a good job of portraying real trans* experiences. At least from my limited experience. Yay writers!

But then, they really screwed up. Let me introduce Moira, a new main character starting in season 3, when she (at the time) has an affair with Jenny. Jenny went to crazy camp after having a breakdown, and met Moira in her hometown. They road tripped back to L.A. And Moira lives in the garage turned apartment behind jenny's house.

Moira is an FTM trans* man, and has known this since before he was on the show. Being in L.A. Gives him the blank slate he needs to start transition, and so he announces that he will be going by the name Max from now on. This is good, for a little while I thought they would do a good job with his transition. The problem is that the writers didn't do their research.

So Max starts taking testosterone, without a prescription or doctor supervision. He's taking too high of a dosage and becomes super aggressive and angry. He is physically violent and hurts Jenny. Ok, this is something that can happen with testosterone, it's also a stereotype about men. Max then goes to a trans* support group, is told that he's taking too high of a dosage, lowers his dosage, and everything is better. He's calm and rational and everything is alright. Because that's oh so realistic. Really? Things like that are not so easy.

When a trans* person transitions, especially at later ages, they have to undo and then redo puberty. Even on a correct dosage, that shit's tough, and emotions can get out of hand. Think about 12-15 year olds going through puberty, are they sane? At all? No, and many of them are not dealing with the same type of dysphoria that a trans* individual is.

Moving on, when Max starts to have feelings for a gay man, because said man treats him "like a man." Cool, now Max identifies as gay. Um... really? Part of this comes from a good place. A lot of trans* men can get hurt over lesbians who date/have sex with them for all the wrong reasons, like the lack of a penis. Some of these lesbians see the trans* men as really butch lesbians. This is not OK. BUT not all trans* men turn out to be gay men, and if they do turn out to be gay men, it's because they are attracted to men, not because they don't like the way lesbians treat them.

So, Max, who was attracted to women pre-transition, is now attracted to only men. He gets pregnant. Yeah, it happens but this turn in the story came right after the media blitz about the "pregnant man." Same story, but in real life. And because this real life story was so sensationalized, it became a stereotype for trans men.

So they took this sensationalized story and gave it to Max so he could deal with his upcoming "motherhood" (yeah, they all called it that. Not fatherhood, motherhood.) instead of focusing on showing a normal guy who just happens to be trans*, or, god forbid, show an accurate representation of his transition.

The thing is, the writers of shows like The L Word and Queer as Folk have the responsibility to show something relatable because many young LGBT folk who are just figuring out their identities don't have access to resources like an LGBT center or gay bars and these shows are their first experience with anything LGBT other than themselves, and maybe a few peers. And I don't think the writers of The L Word did a very good job.

The Transgender (Topless) Pool Party

Something amazing happened while I was in Minneapolis for The Creating Change Conference.

There was a transgender pool party, they have it every year. That, in and of itself, is really awesome and empowering. But, then we, students from the Auraria Campus, started a topless pool party at this transgender pool party.

I have to say that it was the most empowering experience that I have ever had. I felt free and comfortable, and the best part was how encouraging everyone was to each other. When someone would take their swim top off to join, we would cheer. Not in a pervy way, but in a supportive way.

There were many trans* women there who were probably already feeling uncomfortable in their swim wear, but also enjoying the chance to be who they want to be with no judgement. Some of those beautiful women joined our topless party, and started to appear more comfortable with the situation. By the end of the night, there were at least 40 topless people who had not been previously topless.

Simply put, it was an amazing experience. The energy that night was amazing, and I don't know that I will ever experience something so profound again in my life and I feel so honored to have experienced it at all.

Sue Hyde, the exectutive director of the conference, said that this was the best session of the conference.

Words don't work so well: Pronoun problems

The English language has more that 2x more word than the next language, yet the words we do have are inadequate when someone with an unconventional identity. This is not a problem for those who identify as heterosexual, gay, lesbian, or bisexual. It's not even a problem right now for people who identify as transgender men or women. But it's not always that simple. Sexuality and gender are both spectrums, and there are not labels for all of those degrees of difference.

So, what do you call someone who identifies as neither man or woman? Or both man and woman? Or somewhere in-between?

Some identity words for the individuals who identify outside of the gender binary are; queer, genderqueer, intergender, androgyne/androgynous, third gender, genderless, or, in first nations traditions, two-spirit.

The problem comes when the individuals who use these identities are referred to. Pronouns, ugh. Even if someone is being considerate and asks, "what pronouns do you prefer?" what would they say?

The pronouns used for people in conventional society are he/him/his, she/her/hers and they/them/their. Until recently, they/them/their was used to refer to multiple people. Now, it is grammatically correct to call an individual person "they" but, would you agree that it sounds weird?

So, not everybody likes they/them/their, what now? There are some lesser known gender neutral pronouns out there such as ze/hir or co/co's.

Ze/hir is used within some trans* communities, but many people find it clunky and hard to use. Co is a gender neutral pronoun coined by feminist writer Mary Orovan in 1970, and is used by intentional egalitarian communities that strive to create a genderless society, such as Twin Oaks in Virginia.

I like co as a pronoun, but not everybody does. The problem is that there is no real gender neutral pronoun that works for everybody, or works in mainstream society.

What do you think?